It's almost 1am and I'm not in bed yet, despite Rosie being tucked up fast asleep in her moses basket. After Rosie and I got home from our trip to England yesterday, I went to bed and didn't get up for 14 hours! I was shattered. I will write another blog post tomorrow all about the rest of our trip. But right now it's a bit too late to start all that.
Rosie has slept almost constantly since we got home. I gave her some Calpol this evening as I think she's feeling a bit under the weather. It's not like her to sleep so much, and she sounds a bit hoarse when she's awake, so I think she might have that sore throat that's going round at the moment. (I've had it for almost 3 weeks now!)
Well the trip to England certainly took my mind off of things for a while. But now that I'm home I'm thinking about what to do next. I need to start something that's going to occupy my brain somewhat. But I'm not sure what yet. A course? A job? Volunteer work? Write a book?
I went to the doctors today. I've been feeling like I did in America just before I ended up in hospital. Although I'm not as bad as I was then, it's certainly progressing that way. I've been choking, coughing, struggling to breath and feeling tight in the neck area. I do get that way at night often, I wake up struggling to breath. But not during the day so much. Lately though it's been happening up to about 30 times in a 24 hour period. So a trip to the doctor was in order. She did the puffer test thing on me to see how good my breath was, and it was dismal. She said I should be reaching about 550 and I was only reaching around 340. So I have new inhalers, powder ones this time, and I have to go back in a month to see if there is any improvement. I do hope it works. My blood pressure was through the roof again though and she's talking about putting me back on medication for that.
After talking to my Mum about it all this evening I'm wondering if it's all anxiety related. No doubt about it, the things that have been happening lately have left me extremely upset and anxious, so maybe she is right. I do have a severe dust allergy and it makes sense that it could also cause asthma, but perhaps it gets worse when I am anxious. I keep dreaming that I can't breath and then wake up feeling like my throats closed over and I'm suffocating. Then I start choking. All rather unpleasant. I do hope it's not anxiety related. I've never been an anxious person before.
Well, as I said I shall write a post tomorrow about the trip. I have some truly precious friends in England and I desperately miss them. Miss C has been a good friend to me through thick and thin for many, many years. And Mrs T never fails to make me laugh and cheer me up. I treasure them both with all my heart and I hope that they know this. I think they do. Thanks for everything girls. I do miss you both so much. xxx
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