That chocolatey time of year again.

I really have been very slack at blogging lately. My only excuse is that I really don't get the time. But I have lots to blog about just now so I am going to do a little marathon blogging session before bed time.

This post is basically just a few photos from Easter. As usual we had the easter egg hunt around the garden. This was the first year that Rosie's really been able to join in and enjoy it.... and she was very excited about the whole thing! Running around the garden finding chocolates and then eating them.... what's not to like about that when you're two years old??

Badger thought he was a bit big to join in but I managed to convince him that it was good family fun, and hey, he got chocolate out of it too.

Oh, to be a kid again!

Iron and Wine, Dublin, March 2011

For my birthday, way back in December, K gave me tickets to see Iron and Wine in Dublin. I've been getting into Iron & Wine for quite some time now but hadn't heard their latest album and had no idea how absolutely mind blowingly fantastic they would be live! The show was held at the Olympia Theatre in Dublin, and so we made a trip of it and stayed in Dublin for a couple of nights. We weren't even sure if this would be an acoustic one man show, or whether the full band would be there. But the band was awesome, loud, and totally pumping. They seriously surprised me and I had the greatest nights entertainment. The saxophonist was positively making love to that instrument (er, the saxophone, I mean!) and the percussionist was also very entertaining to watch. All in all it was an awesome night and I'm so glad to have experienced it. The trip to Dublin was also lovely. We ate an awful lot. Drank more Guinness than was good for our guts. And enjoyed each others company. One evening we stumbled into a pub with proper Irish singers. I heard them playing 'Duelling Banjo's" from outside and was reminded of my Dad playing this when I was a kid, so insisted we go inside. They were actually a really good wee band, and we were both most amused when a woman asked them to play quieter and then left in a strop!

A day out

The kids were off school on St Paddy's Day so Dan and I decided to take the wee ones out for the day. The big kids weren't really interested in coming, or had already made plans, so we through a trip to Barneys old favourite place, the 'train museum' would be a good idea. A few years back we used to go here nearly every week! Barney was obsessed with the place. But it's been a good while since we last went... back when Rosie was just a wee baby, I think. It was a nice day out. It was nice that Rosie was old enough to run around the trains and enjoy the time with her big brother. She was really excited by some of the cars on display. Afterwards we went to Pizza Hut and made pigs of ourselves with lots of pizza, salad and ice cream! Nom nom.

Swimming, swimming, what do we do?

Swimming... swimming... What do we do? ... We keep on swimming :) (From Finding Nemo)

Daddy's Little Girl

This is a wee video Daddy made today of his wee Rosie. She is so beautiful. And growing up so fast. Two years old and such a character.

Rest In Peace...

RIP my friend.

May you finally have found freedom and peace.

As all my friends and family know, and most of my blog readers, I have been writing to E for over 6 years. E was serving a death sentence and had been in prison for over 23 years. Last week the US government killed him by lethal injection in an execution that was surrounded by controversy and media coverage.

I am so glad that I got to meet E back in 2008. What an experience it was to visit death row, and to meet someone that I'd been writing to for so long. He was just how I imagined he would be, from his letters and phone calls. A very funny man with the ability to easily make me laugh out loud.

Over 6 years, countless letters and dozens of phone calls I felt that E had become my friend. Despite any crimes he may have commited, he had a place in my heart. 23 years can change a person, that much is true. I looked forward to his letters. I will miss the excitement of seeing that American stamped letter in my mail box.

A few weeks back, just after my birthday, E phoned me for the last time. We talked for over 40 minutes. Only now do I realise that he had phoned to say goodbye. He was more open than he had been before about what my friendship meant to him, and how me and my family would always have a place in his heart. He told me that I was the only person for many years who cared to give him the time of day, and that my letters had meant so much to him. Then he told me that he didn't have long left, stating 'possibly the end of January'.

The horror of this didn't really hit me until I heard the news that he had been granted a death warrant and a date had been set. I felt immediately sick. I spent the next two weeks in utter torment and upset. I had always known this day would come, but also always beleived it wouldn't. After all, nothing had happened for twenty-three years, so perhaps nothing would?

But the day did come. For two weeks I found it so hard to continue with daily life. The thought of E was constantly in my mind. The horror of what was happening. The execution was scheduled for midnight our time. I sat alone in my bed and spent the evening reading through the letters he had sent me. I had a glass of wine, played music, and discovered little treasures in the letters that I'd long forgotten.... little cards with cute sayings on them, a gold cross that was his mothers, drawings of me that he had done from photos, photos that he had sent me himself. As midnight came I said a prayer for him. I know he was at peace with God and looking forward to his final freedom. I lit a candle and sat on my bed surrounded by letters until the small hours of morning. His execution was delayed for several hours, but it did finally happen. The following day I read the news reports about it.

I felt a little peace after it was done. The horror of waiting was over and he was suffering no more. Now I feel sad that I will not hear from him again. I feel sad when I get my mail and know that there will be no chance of anything from him again. But I no longer feel so tortured.

I will miss E a lot, more than my words can convey. He brought something to my life and I to his. And I am truly glad that I took the time to get to know him. Rest in Peace E.

Well, that was a shit two years

Yes, I swore, on my blog (so get over it - apparently I'm already going to hell so I might as well enjoy the odd swear word)

I haven't really been blogging lately. It's not that I don't have anything to blog about. On the contrary, right now I could probably write an award winning book about my life. Ah, but only if I had the time.

So 2011 has begun, and we are already a few weeks in. I had high hopes for 2011. Ok... not high hopes exactly, but I did hope for less heart ache, less pain, less illness, less hurt... and more of the good stuff, like laughter, good health, fun, love and happiness. I haven't give up hope of that yet. I just don't believe that January will be offering much of it.

I am pleased that finally the medical profession have realised that I am indeed struggling through some sort of illness and am not just a fat, unfit blob of self inflicted bad health. I provided them recently with enough blood and urine to fill a bath tub, and they provided me with something I already knew.... that "something is wrong with you Ms M". Yay, big clap for the medics. Hurrah. So what is wrong? Well, I have my suspicions and they seem to be testing in that direction, but all they will tell me so far is "that it is something very rare and will take time to diagnose". The fact is that they are testing for Cushings Disease, Conn's Syndrome or Pheocromocytoma. Whilst that all sounds very scary, in fact it means that something in my adrenal system is amiss. Somewhere between my kidneys and my pituitary gland has decided to turn against me and is releasing colossal amounts of hormones/steroids which make me feel generally shitey mcnitey. Also, my blood pressure is pretty much as high as it can get before it kills me so there is some urgency to find out what is wrong. My blood and urine came back 'abnormal' and I've been summoned for a renal and abdominal scan. Hopefully that will shed some light. At the moment I generally feel like my body hates me. And I am starting to take a bit of a disliking to it in return.

So. January has been a mixed month. On the one hand I am finally starting the process of finding out whats wrong with me. And I can say a happy good riddance to 2010 and every shit thing it brought with it. I have a whole new year to look forward to. Who knows what it will hold? There is definitely some good stuff happening. A very special someone has been making me smile a lot. My kids have been nothing but super stars lately and are making me the most proud mama ever. I'm starting to ponder on what to do with my new nutritional qualification, which is exiting. I have more good friends now than ever before, which makes me very happy. But at the same time I still find myself constantly tinged with sadness and loss.

And to add to all that I have this week been given some totally devastating news about a friend of mine, which I can not share on this blog at this time. But which most people close to me know about. And this news has absolutely whacked me full thwack on the forehead, concussing me, winding me and taking my breath away. I don't know how to process this, how to feel, what to think. Thankfully I have a friend who seems to really understand how this is hitting me, and without her I'd be lost. Most people just can not relate to this situation at all and the normal response is to stare in a shocked look or panic. I wish I could write about it on here. In time I will. But not now.

I must keep reminding myself that I am one of the luckiest people on the planet. That much is very true. And I have so much to be thankful for. And I am thankful. But I'm also stuck in a place of sadness and loss at times. Here are some photos of the last few weeks just to show that all is not doom and gloom :)

Airing the cobwebs

My week away at a lovely, secluded little cottage in Ballintoy on the coast of Northern Ireland seems such a long time ago now. In reality it was just a few weeks back. But I’ve been slack at blogging (well, slack? Not really, more like busy)

It was a very last minute decision on my part to get away.  Marty was willing to look after the kids and I needed a break like you wouldn’t believe. The stress of the last year was getting to me and I feared I might totally lose my marbles.  So I found this little cottage near the Giants Causeway and booked it for a week. Then persuaded (ok, to be honest not much persuasion was really needed) two friends to join me.  K and E. K could only come for the weekend as he had to get back to work. 

We had a lovely time. Lots of chilling out. Playing guitar and music. Dark walks in spooky graveyards where coffins were actually lifting out of the ground and moving about all over the place!  We discovered a little harbour and beach just down from our cottage and went exploring.  And lots of eating… especially on my part.

E and I had more time to really explore the area. The Causeway Coastal route is breathtakingly beautiful.  It was bitterly cold, and windy, but still so beautiful.  E and I visited The Giants Causeway (the wind there really cleared our sinuses!), as well as various little beaches along the way.  It was great to have nothing too serious to think about for a few days and to enjoy some fresh air.  We had lots of giggles, watched movies, did the most ridiculous things under the influence of vodka and generally had a great time. E spent every evening tending the open fire and keeping us warm, whilst I mostly fed us.

Snow days

I’m not going to write much on this post. I just wanted to make some comment about the fact that its been snowing through November and December.  I don’t remember snow at this time of year before.  It feels very Christmassy, but it’s a bugger when you’re waiting for parcels!  Anyway, I thought I’d post some pics of the kids putting up the Christmas tree and out playing in the white stuff.

 

 

 

December Birthday Bash

 

My darling friend J promised A and I last December that she would organise us a proper birthday bash this year. A’s birthday is on Christmas Eve, and mine is 29th December; and because of the timing we rarely manage to get people to go out and celebrate.  It’s just such a busy time of year.  So this year we celebrated it a few weeks early, and invited all our nearest and dearest.  J organised the whole thing and did an excellent job.  A and I were way over excited about it for many weeks before hand. 

We met at S’s house for pre party drinks before heading to an Indian restaurant for a delicious meal. Mmmm, I have been craving curry since that night. Drool.  Two of my sisters were able to make it, which I was pleased about, as well as some of my dearest friends. After the meal we headed off to party at Lavery’s – but since it was Christmas the queue to get in was ridiculous so we ended up at a students union goth night of all places!!! Watching the little goths dancing in their strange outfits was quite entertaining!

I had been quite sick with a fluey type bug for several days before and was worried that I wouldn’t be able to make my own party. Luckily enough I was well enough on the Saturday night, although I really didn’t have my partying strength back. I would dance, then feel like death for a bit and sit. Then dance a wee bit more. Hehe. But it was all good fun.  Both J and K went out of their way to make my birthday bash a night to remember.  Thanks so much guys.  I had a blast :-) and am already looking forward to next years!