Back to School blues

We all knew that going back to school was going to be hard for Barney. His problems seem to have doubled in size over the summer, poor lad. Yesterday morning the panic attacks started… the very second he woke up. He knew it was the last day of the summer holidays, and hence it was time to start panicking.

Marty woke me up after an hour of his anxiety. He was shouting at Daddy, hyperventilating, just generally not coping. I managed to take his mind off things for a while by letting him play my Fish World game on Facebook. But during the day he kept reminding us all of how scared he was about starting P2.

I thought it would be a difficult night last night. Marty went to bed early and I got Barney all settled into bed. He watched his DVD and came down a few times. I could see his anxiety rising and his worries about school getting bigger. I told him that I’d be sending him in with a letter to his teacher explaining about his Autism assessments and how he feels anxious. Then he suggested that he write a letter to the teacher himself. So I went with it. He dictated to me what he wanted to tell her. Then he finished it off by writing his name and some kisses, awww! His letter went along the lines of …

My name is Barney. My mummy is writing you a letter but I wanted to write one too. I want you to know that I may have aspergers. I am really scared every time we have to go to the assembly hall. I am scared of going to different rooms. I am afraid of starting p2 for the very first time. When I panic I feel nervous and scared. I think I am going to be sick, and I think I can’

t breath. I panic when people cough, or cry, or are sick, or when there are loud noises, or if people back into me or touch me when I am not expecting it. I have my ear defenders in my school bag. I am looking forward to being in your class. I am half excited and half worried. From Barney.

As soon as he had written it and put it into his school bag he totally relaxed. He went to bed with no bother and slept all night!

This morning he was anxious and scared but managed to get to the school without any meltdowns. He kept reminding me how scared he was, and I kept assuring him that I wouldn’t leave until he was happy and settled with his teacher. I know the teachers don’t like the parents going into the playground with them. They expect them to be dropped off outside the fence, but I didn’t care. There was no way Barney could make his own way in without losing control. So I took him to his teacher and explained to her how anxious he was, then watched as he held her hand and went inside, glancing back at me with a face filled with worry.

Now I’m awaiting 2pm to see how he got on. I do hope he doesn’t struggle too much. Poor little lad.